When we first become parents we very quickly learn to prioritise what our new baby needs over our own needs. In those early years you almost never get to drink your cup of tea, or eat your dinner, unless it has already gone cold! Getting a good night’s sleep can be a rarity and you quickly learn why they use sleep deprivation as a method of torture. As our children mature, and our family grows, side lining our own needs becomes our default mechanism. We get so used putting everyone else’s needs above our own that we can literally lose ourselves. If we do get some time without our children we often find it hard to switch off and focus upon what we need.
For every parent carer, particularly those who have children with additional needs, it is important to prioritise self-care. This literally is setting aside some time to care for yourself. When we don’t take care of ourselves we are more likely to become ill either physically or emotionally or even injury ourselves.
Self-care isn’t selfish, it is essential for the welfare of the whole family and those you care for.
Self-care involves being kind and compassionate to yourself. Think about how you would speak to a friend who was going through a tough time, use kind words towards yourself and make sure your inner voice has a caring tone. When building in self-care strategies start with small achievable steps, 10 minutes most days is going to be more beneficial and more realistic than an hour once a week. As you see the benefits of regular self-care, where your caring responsibilities allow, you should aim to extend the time or type of activities.
Make sure you choose activities that you really enjoy. Here are some suggestions to get you started;
- Reading a book or magazine
- Watching a TV program or listening to some music
- Having a bubble bath
- Painting your nails
- Baking your favourite cake
- Creative activities; drawing, painting, knitting.
- Walking or being outdoors, for example gardening
- Mindful activity or meditation
- Dancing or singing to your favourite song
- Play a musical instrument or a sport
- Buy yourself a small treat; some flowers or a chocolate bar
At Suffolk Family Carers we provide workshops to support carers well-being so do contact us for further information. There are also several excellent resources that can be found online;
Self-Care for Parents and Carers | Why consider self care? | Anna Freud Centre
Self Care for Carers (italk.org.uk)
Five Ways to Wellbeing – Wellbeing Suffolk (wellbeingnands.co.uk)
