There were days when I would question whether or not I would ever sleep again. Just hoping and praying to see my bed, my mattress and bedroom, instead of the end of my son’s bed or his bedroom floor, at its worst I would be surviving on only two hours of sleep a night but, I discovered a few hints and tips that came help.
It is important to understand a little about the science of sleep and how our body works. With help from the world around us our brains establish our sleep – wake cycle. It uses signals from the eyes to recognise sunlight as a reason to be awake, which regulates the production of serotonin in your body and to recognise darkness and dim light as a reason to produce Melatonin to help you sleep. Our bodies Circadian Rhythm is what monitors our sleepiness and wakefulness over a 24 hour period, helping our body to know when it is time to sleep and when it is time to wake up. However due to modern technology, lighting and the amount of screens that we have nowadays our Circadian Rhythm can easily become confused, as it sees light from screens and does not realise that it is dark outside and time to sleep – What Makes You Tick – Circadian Rhythms
So, why is sleep so important? During my sleep struggles with my son someone said to me ‘Did you know, sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture!’ At the time I thought to myself ‘Thanks, not sure how that helps me.’ However looking back, this was the moment I stopped being so hard on myself, it was all of a sudden okay to feel tired, it was okay to cry from exhaustion, it was okay if the ironing or washing didn’t get done because I just couldn’t. That comment made me wake up and realise that with no experience of sleep issues, other people understood how difficult my situation was at the time, which allowed me to be kinder to myself (something we can all find difficult). I sometimes wonder if we realise how important sleep is until we don’t get enough of it. A good night sleep is important for your physical, mental and emotional development and wellbeing. It is thought that the different stages of sleep also play an important role in our creativity, insightful thinking, our memory and cognitive thinking. Most importantly, sleep restores, repairs and refreshes your body. There are four different stages of sleep within the sleep cycle and the sleep cycle can last an hour to an hour and a half meaning that most people will experience several sleep cycles in one night Sleep Patterns – The Sleep Charity.
Neurodiverse children often have difficulty sleeping, whether that is staying asleep, falling asleep or even just staying and settling in bed. Neurodiverse people find that they hyper focus on projects and interests when it comes to bedtime, due to the fact that there are less distractions around them and their world is calmer. Lack of sleep can have a huge impact on the brain and the body, it can cause low mood, memory issues and sleepiness during the day, lack of concentration and health issues. At the height of my son not sleeping I realised that he was less able to cope with school and day to day life, resulting in a lot more meltdowns and shutdowns. The more tired he became the more hyperactive he became, and due to the lack of sleep I was getting I found myself less able to cope with daily life, being over critical and less able to support him. Even when he finally started to sleep I found that I didn’t. I had become hyper vigilant and woke to any noise in the house.
So what can impact your child’s sleep? There are a myriad of things that can impact your child’s sleep from sensory issues, worries from the day, school, over excited, over stimulated, to quiet, too noisy, the list could go on forever… Ensuring good sleep hygiene, for example reduce screen time, dim lights and so on, is a good starting point and extremely important to ensuring a good night sleep, however sometimes it’s not enough. Keeping a sleep/bedtime diary, communicating with your child and finding out what your child’s needs are and meeting those needs can have a positive effect on your child’s sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I still get the occasional early morning wake up calls, midnight chats that feel like they will never end, but instead of being up every night for most of the night, now it’s sporadically for an hour here or three hours there and I can guarantee it will be because that night he had a need, whether it was something that happened that day or three months ago he didn’t fully understand a situation and now he needs time to process it. As long as I show him I am there for him and meet his needs nine time out of ten he settles, unless it is too close to morning of course.
So, have I fixed all of your sleep issues in just one article…?
Of course not, it’s important to have realistic expectations and try things for a few weeks before you decide it doesn’t work. Every child is different and every child has different needs. It’s about finding out what your child’s needs are and supporting them the best you can but it helps to get ideas and support from others, they may suggest things you haven’t yet thought of.
For more information and top tips check out these useful websites (or our sleep workshop coming soon to our website.)
The Sleep Charity
The Sleep Foundation
How Sleep Works: Understanding the Science of Sleep
Other
How to help your autistic child with day-to-day life
Sleep – a guide for parents of autistic children
