I am caring for someone with severe and enduring mental-ill health. The impact of this is that I’m starting to feel stressed and anxious myself. Are there strategies that I can use to reduce my stress and calm myself down when feeling strong emotions such as anger and anxiety?
First of all give yourself credit for all that you are doing. The likelihood is that you are achieving more than you think and giving your all to support the person that you care for. However, self-care is very important if you are going to remain fit and well – physically, mentally and emotionally.
If you are feeling stressed you may like to write down all the things that are causing you to feel this way. Then you may like to think about whether they are in your control and whether you have any influence to make a change. We often worry and stress about things out of our control and this can cause us to become frustrated and anxious. We have little control over other people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour for example. We can only influence change.
You may also like to think about reframing unhelpful thoughts. If we can recognise, challenge and replace negative thoughts we are more likely to be able to deal with the problem to achieve a more positive outcome.
For instance rather than thinking “I can’t do this.” Try thinking I can do this, but I might need to step back and take a breather first or “I made a mistake and everyone knows it.” Try thinking I had a human moment and even if someone noticed, I know they’ve made mistakes too. No-one will remember tomorrow.
Try talking to someone about your worries. It’s true that ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. Telling someone else might help bring forth ideas and solutions. It is easy to over catastrophize when you become stressed and anxious which leads to thinking the worse.
Make time for your own needs – It’s important to address your own needs as well as the needs of others. Try to find some time to take part in a hobby or recreational activity that you enjoy. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to take hours away from your caring role. Just finding a few minutes time to sit quietly to read a book or watch your favourite programme on TV can take your mind away from the things that are causing you to feel anxious and stressed.
Try to eat well, exercise as much as you can and get a good night’s sleep. All these are important to achieving good physical and mental health. You may like to look at Suffolk MIND Emotional Needs and Resources. www.suffolkmind.org.uk
And lastly, let others help. Try not to take on all the responsibility. This might mean that you have to lay down clear boundaries to be able to look after yourself.
If you are feeling very stressed and anxious you may like to contact Wellbeing Suffolk for help and support. Or visit Suffolk Family Carers website to access
Mindfulness videos.
Suffolk Advice, Guidance and Emotional Support Service is a FREE and confidential service for family carers, families and friends of people with mental and emotional wellbeing needs. Please contact us
Please note that this information is correct at the time of publication
