This case study is about Ronan, 21, a Young Adult Carer from Suffolk who we have been supporting since the age of 16 along with his other siblings. His caring role had started some 6 years before he became affiliated with Suffolk Family Carers.
How my caring role started...
I’ve been caring since I was 9 or 10, as my mum started to develop full-body arthritis, and couldn’t keep up with the house maintenance. So I started cooking mine and my siblings’ dinners, running to the corner shop for groceries, doing the laundry and washing up, and acting as a pseudo parent on the week-ends whilst my mum slept after night shifts at work, and my dad was working day shifts. This continued up until I was 13 or 14, when my siblings were able to help out a bit, so we shared out the roles between us, though I was still responsible for all of the cooking chores. By this time, our mum’s disability had worsened, so there were days where she couldn’t get out of bed due to the pain, but on those days we would sit with her and watch TV in her room, making sure she ate and had a constant supply of tea!
When I found Suffolk Family Carers...
It was when I had just turned 16, with the ever-growing terror of GCSEs looming, that I was identified as a young adult carer, as my siblings had just been identified as young carers. I didn’t even realise that my role had anything special to it up until then – I just thought this is what kids would do if their parents were struggling.
I am so grateful that I had access to this support at this time, as I feel I wouldn’t have made it through my exams without the support of Suffolk Family Carers. Whether it was through book clubs or residentials, training to support myself better, or just a chat over cake and coffee – I will be eternally grateful to the Young Adult Carer team for what they did for me. This support also carried me through my A-Levels, and landed me in university, which I have now graduated from!
How caring has helped me at university...
It was through my university career that I realised how much of an asset my identification as a young adult carer has been, as I saw my flatmates struggle with stuff I considered common knowledge – cleaning, cooking and multitasking just didn’t seem to work for them, but to me it was natural. Though my time management has always been atrocious, my caring role has also taught me how to effectively prioritise the tasks I had accumulated – a blessing in disguise, I can assure you!
I also had unknowingly developed a sense of maturity, assertiveness and empathy that allowed me to help friends who needed support, but also enabled me to resolve conflicts within my accommodation and my friend group more easily. This supportive attitude is something I am often credited for by my friends and family, but have also received praise for this from charities I have worked with.
The biggest thing I've gained...
The biggest thing I have gained from being a carer, specifically a carer that is affiliated with Suffolk Family Carers, is a lack of fear regarding what others think. Before joining the charity, I had always wanted to hide any aspect of me that differentiated me from my peers. But it is thanks to the guidance and support of the workers and my friends through the group that I became confident with my identity as a carer, and began to take part in advocacy work. With the support of the charity, I have spoken at the Houses of Parliament, to members of the NHS, on the radio and have taken part in workshops in schools in Suffolk. My dissertation revolved around this as well, and it led to an ever-growing interest in my academic field.
Needless to say, my caring identity has been crucial to my identity and my development as a young person. And I would never change this.
Whether you are a Young Carer or a professional working with Young Carers, if you would like more information on our Young People’s Service please get in contact with us.
