Marie first contacted us a few years after her family moved to Suffolk, when her husband’s role in the Armed Forces had been transferred. She is the primary carer for her Autistic and ADHD daughter, and her younger son has recently been having seizures, which are under investigation. Due to her husbands role in the forces all appointments and care for both children fall primarily to Marie. Marie has also been dealing with her own physical health after being admitted to hospital with Sepsis and is also struggling with anxiety and low mood.
When we spoke with Marie she explained, “Earlier this year we lost Lee’s mum, she was elderly but being so far away from his family home it hit him really hard, the children have been really affected too. We are also having to move to Aldershot base later this year as Lee has another transfer, I know it comes with the territory of being an Armed Forces family, but it doesn’t get any easier. This time feels harder as we have the children’s schools to think about, our daughter is getting a lot of support from school with her diagnosis which is great, but we know it’s not the same everywhere. And with our son’s health concerns we aren’t sure how that will all work with tests and things.”
After our initial conversations with Marie it was clear that we needed to have regular check-ins with her, especially before their transfer to Aldershot base. This gave her time to offload, in a safe, non-judgemental environment. We did this via phone calls and in-person when we attended the stations coffee mornings at the HIVE. We also got advice from our Neurodevelopmental Differences Team which was passed onto the family.
“It is great that I can speak to you on the phone, but to also catch up with you in person when you visit the HIVE. Being able to offload about my worries about the children has been such a help. I have appreciated the encouragement to try and allow time to myself when they are at school/nursery.”
As part of funding from the Armed Forces Covenant Trust Fund, we were able to hold workshops to allowed family carers of Armed Forces families to connect with others and learn techniques to improve their own wellbeing. “I found the workshops helpful with meeting other family carers who lived near us as well as getting ideas and techniques to look after myself. I never put myself first, until you pointed out the importance of this for my own wellbeing.”
We were able to put Marie and her family in touch with HIVE manager in Aldershot prior to the move and she was given the opportunity to explain her situation and the advice she gained was valuable information to support their move. “The wheels have been put in motion regarding support for us as a family and I am feeling more confident and less anxious about moving.”
“My caring role can be difficult and overwhelming. Our conversations have been helpful. I have felt valued, listened to, and heard. I have my own supports that I can put in place when things get tough and I now realise the importance of looking after me in all of this.”
As part of the support we have offered Marie and her family we contacted her 6-weeks into their re-location to make sure they had settled in and to offer any final bits of advice.
