Kristi Adams explains becoming a young carer for her dad….It happened overnight.
I was seven. Mum and dad split up. Unbeknown to any of us, Dad was about to be diagnosed with a pituitary gland tumour, which added to the Cushing’s Disease and diabetes that he already had.
As a young child I had always been quite fearful of Dad. He was a big character and didn’t mince his words. When he wasn’t in hospital, my sister and I would go and stay with him on weekends. It wasn’t until I was 30 and managing a national programme about increasing the identification and support for carers, that I realised that I was his part-time carer.
I learnt responsibility, sympathy, empathy, sadness and fear in equal measures. I learnt about real life and how to act like a grown up when all my friends were playing care free. My friends didn’t know about Dad or that on weekends I was administering his insulin, cooking and cleaning for him and generally making sure he was OK.
Mum would pick us up on a Sunday night and I would feel guilty and elated at the same time. Guilty that he was left with paid carers and no family all week and elated that for a few days I could live my own life.
Dad ended up meeting a wonderful lady who sadly ended up being his carer, as he got progressively more unwell, physically and mentally. He became aggressive and angry and when I was at University, he would often call me to say that he was going to kill himself.
When I was 21 Dad, who had become a double amputee, passed away. He hung on long enough to see me graduate.
It may sound odd but I don’t resent being exposed to what I was from such a young age. My experiences taught me to be who I am and for that, I am truly grateful. Thanks Dad.
